-- Probably my two favorite things. Together. Who'd like to open one here? --

-- A bench warmer in the NBA got tired of hearing how bad he was from some average Joe's, so he took some on and clobbered them. -- 

-- Beyonce wasn't Ashlee Simpson, here's some reality for you criticism -- 

-- There was an dirty Elmo issue, right? Now the actor that voiced Charlie Brown is accused of stalking. The Great Pumpkin will never be the same for you. -- 

-- Here come the Lance lawsuits. He's going to be flat broke, in what...five years? -- 

-- So a classic movie had been released then had its ending re-edited? --

-- When there's fire, the fire department uses water, right? Yes. What happens when that water is used in single digit weather? This. -- 

-- I'd missed this, but the 50 Shades movie WILL be NC-17 -- 

-- Voice mails from whatever Teo thought he was dating, from the Katie Couric interview --

-- Nicely done (literally) Jeremy Renner. Enjoy fatherhood, and her for 18 years. --